LET’S GET GUNS ON CAMPUS

          There are many of us who are looking forward with great anticipation to the efforts of the Missouri legislature to enact a bill permitting  concealed weapons on college campuses.   We are thankful for the support of the NRA and its fine support of our legislators in this patriotic endeavor.  If this measure passes, we can look forward to a rapid decline in rapes, robberies and murders on our local university campus.

          Basically, I liken the implementation of concealed weapons to a baseball game.  If a batter thinks the pitcher is throwing a curve ball, it doesn’t really matter whether the ball actually curves or not.  It is the batter’s perception that counts.

          Same with concealed weapons.  If we think that everyone may be carrying a concealed weapon, it has exactly the same effect.

          However, just passing legislation allowing students to carry guns on campus is really not enough.  Following are some suggestions on what would greatly enhance this legislation:

     a) Because of the current economic recession, many students cannot afford to purchase a gun – or the ammunition that goes with it.  Only the richer students can take advantage of such a program.  Therefore, I would propose that the University bookstore sell guns and ammunition (with student discounts) to help level the playing field.  Which brings our athletic programs into play.  I recall that last year the university bookstore offered a percentage discount on everything based on the number of touchdowns made by the football team.  If we have a winning football season, the cost of these guns and ammunition would be drastically reduced.

          b) Female students should be particularly pleased over the program.  They would feel much safer if they assumed that their date was carrying a concealed weapon.  When I was a college student (many years ago) I dated a girl who wore a leather jacket, boots, and a helmet and rode a motorcycle.  I felt real safe when I was with her.

          c) Think of the huge savings by eliminating the need for a campus security force.  With students armed with guns the number of violent actions on campus should be reduced to almost nothing.   Even the

Pine Street

problems would be greatly reduced.

          d) The only added cost of a concealed weapons program that I can see would be the need to purchase bullet proof vests for faculty and administrators, especially during the weeks of mid-term tests and finals. Actually, students should see a dramatic improvement in their overall grades since most faculty would be reluctant to fail a gun toting student.

          I understand that one of our sister universities provides laptop computers to all incoming freshmen.  How dumb is that?  Guns can provide a lot more security than computers, especially when you read about all the sex that is being solicited via the internet.

     It goes without saying that both the NRA and the Missouri legislature should be highly commended for their deep concerns over our well being.