DON'T GUT FEDERAL REGULATIONS

          In a recent release to the news media, U.S. Representative Vicky Hartzler states that she is proud to be a co-sponsor of  H.R. 10, the Regulations from the Executive in Need of Scrutiny Act, more commonly known as the REINS bill. 

          This bill would effectively gut federal agencies of their regulatory powers and transfer this responsibility to the Congress.  It would, in effect,  fundamentally change the way our government protects the environmental and public health of the American people.

          According to Hartzler, “It is time to restore the authority to impose regulations to the elected representatives of the people, etc.”  So, instead of relying on scientists and issue-area experts in federal agencies to set standards to protect our health and environment, the REINS Act would make the politicians in Congress the arbiters of what is safe for the American people. This is the same Congress that has been so effective in conducting wars and resolving political differences, right?

          We’re talking about the preparation of food and medical drugs, and regulations affecting nursing homes and industrial workplace safety, the Clean Air Act and regulations designed to keep our rivers and lakes free of pollutants.   These are just some of the areas that would be controlled by Congressional  oversight.

          It is a standard Republican political position.  Limit or restrict the  regulation of banks, Wall Street, or business in general because government regulations deprive business of some of their profits.

          So, if we are content with putting control of our health, safety and environment in the hands of “the people’s representatives,” then by all means, encourage Congress to take over and pray that the lobbyists do not have a field day.

                                               

                                                     

 WELCOME TO PERTLE, LADY GOLFERS

      If everything goes according to the rumors,  a women’s golf team will soon be added to the University of Central Missouri’s athletic programs.  The evidence is there.  Following a tour of the magnificent new Clubhouse at Pertle Springs, I  believe that we will be seeing many more women playing golf on what has been a predominantly male bastion.

The new Clubhouse not only features a modern Pro Shop and dining room, but it has fabulous locker, restrooms, and showers for both men and women.. There is also a nicely furnished office for the Men’s Golf Coach  and a similarly equipped office is designated for a Women’s Golf Coach.

Personally, I  would like to see more ladies enjoying the thrill of hitting that little ball down the fairway.

The first time I ever played golf with a girl was in the late 1960’s.  I was new on the university staff and was excited about playing in the annual alumni golf tournament.   Being promotion oriented, I thought it would  help encourage more women to participate if I asked the alumni director, Virginia Stewart, to be my partner in this two-person scramble.. 

As an experienced golfer, I felt that we would make a respectable showing, especially since it was a scramble tournament.  It should be a fun time.  But, when Virginia and I arrived for our Tee Time, I was stunned to see her dressed in a very feminine frilly short-skirted outfit.  To top it all off, she was hitting pink golf balls. 

 I did not know what was really in store for me, but I soon found out.  Virginia was out driving me by 40 to 50 yards and we consistently ended up hitting her ball.  I finally pleaded with her to at least start hitting a white golf ball so it wouldn’t be so obvious.

Russ Bloom and his partner were in our foursome.  They were rolling in laughter at my efforts to stay up with Virginia’s drives (along with other aspects of her golfing skills).  In short, they were on my back throughout the entire tournament.

Since I was editing the alumni newspaper at the time, I got even.  I ran a solid black two-column rectangular box with the following caption:  “Here is a photo of Russ Bloom looking for his golf ball in the woods.  Too bad you can’t see the leaves on the trees since they are very beautiful.”

Many years later Millie Barnes and several other lady golfers invited me to join their group.  They were all great athletes and super golfers.  When we finished, I told them how much I enjoyed playing with them, but I did wish that they wouldn’t giggle so much after I hit my drives.

Yes, more lady golfers will be a great addition to the Pertle scene.

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IT’S ALL ABOUT PERCEPTION

          Whenever things start to get a bit dull at my Tuesday morning coffee club meeting (mostly golfers), I remind everyone that there is absolutely no scientific proof that a curve ball actually curves.  It is simply an optical illusion.  This usually gets an immediate response.

          I am quick to point out that it doesn’t really matter if the baseball actually curves or not.  If the batter thinks that it is curving, that’s all that matters.  In short, it is the batter’s perception of what the baseball is really doing that counts.

          Same thing is true in life.  Take the Kansas University situation.  Two million in stolen tickets, six million severance pay for a non-winning coach, getting womped by Duke in a recent basketball game.  While we all know that the KU sports programs are tops in the land, the perception is that they apparently are being administered by a bunch of self-serving individuals.

          Take Congress for another example.  Although it is illegal for you or me to buy or sell stocks based on “insider” information, (remember Martha Stewart) our senators and representatives have conveniently written laws that exempt them from this restriction.  They can buy and sell shares in companies that are directly affected by the actions of the various congressional committees.  This provides members of Congress with advance information on actions that may determine the life or death of a company or an industry.  And, it explains why so many of them are a lot wealthier upon retirement than they were when first elected.

          60 Minutes did an indepth piece on insider trading by Congress, and the Nov. 21 issue of Newsweek has a very detailed report on the same subject.  Check these out and you will scream as I am doing!

          The fact is, these congressmen are doing nothing illegal.  However, the perception of most of us is that they are a bunch of bottom feeders who are only looking after their own welfare.

          Facts are facts, but I do believe that our perception of the world around us is what determines our outlook and our actions.

          Incidentally, the first time I revealed that a curve ball is nothing but an optical illusion I was a student living in a dorm at Indiana University.  The guys in my dorm were so upset they voted me out, and a close friend who was a pitcher on the IU baseball team stuck a glove in my hand and for the next hour he fired “curve balls” at me.  I think he was mad.  My hand still hurts.

                                                                    

MANY MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS

LACK COMMUNICATION SKILLS

          Some of my favorite people are members of the medical profession.   I know that I am alive today because of the knowledge and care of a large number of  doctors, nurses, and other medical personnel.

          However, I am sad to report that medical professionals do not always communicate with one another, and sometimes vital information is not even shared with their staffs.

          For years I have requested that all lab reports and recommendations of various medical specialists be sent to my family doctor.  My goal was to have all of my medical information flowing into one central office.  From there, any specialist treating me could access whatever background information that was needed.

          With the advent of computers, it would seem that this would be a simple procedure.  Just zap the pertinent information via email to whatever doctor was doing what doctors do -- examine, prescribe, operate, console, etc.  Unfortunately, in too many instances vital information is kept secreted away in some doctor’s computer.

          Examples of communication failures abound.  After a week of injecting a blood thinner twice a day into my stomach, I was ready for  a fairly common eyelid surgery.  As I was being wheeled into the operating room, the doctor appeared and canceled the operation.  Seems that eye doctors had only recently learned that using that blood thinner could in some rare cases, cause blindness.  So he canceled the operation.

          My question was why did we come right down to the wire, and why was this information not sent out to the entire medical profession?  To top it off, a member of his staff called me the next day to see how I was doing post op.  Obviously, they weren’t even communicating internally.

          This week I had a follow-up visit with the surgeon who had removed my cancerous lower intestine.  Following the usual “how are you doing?” questions, he said he routinely performed a colonoscopy in the first year after surgery.  He asked me when was I operated on.  I told him I sometimes had trouble remembering what I did last week.  Actually, it had been two years since the operation. 

          His next question was “Did you see an oncologist and did you have radiation treatment?”  I told him that the “cancer” doctor told me that it would be five years or longer before I had to be concerned, and “no, I did not have any radiation treatment.”.

          I have come to a number of conclusions.  First, even though I had made this appointment several weeks ago, he apparently had not read my file.  Or, even worse, none of the oncologist’s report had been sent to him. 

          I have asked my family doctor to forward all pertinent information in my file to the surgeon since I will be meeting with him again in the next week or so.  The surgeon should have this information in order to make wise future decisions concerning my health.

          I don’t know what it will take to alert the medical profession about this major, life dealing problem of failing to communicate.  Perhaps the AMA will undertake to conduct seminars for doctors on the new computer medical information programs currently available.   I sure hope so.

           One concluding thought.  I totally admire and love all of the doctors who have treated me, and I will also admire and love any future doctors.  I am not in the business of upsetting those who help me; I just want them to be better informed.

                                                       

LET’S REGULATE CELL PHONES

          To a certain extent I can support the NRA in its desire to protect and defend the constitution of the United States by fighting any kind of gun controls.  So, what I am about to propose may raise the ire of those ardent free speech amendment addicts who also claim an inalienable right to speak freely whenever and however they please.  This morning, on my way to my morning coffee club, I was closely followed by a young lady who was steering her car with her elbows while she was sending text messages via her cell phone.  She seemed to be punching out messages with her thumbs!

          I had always heard that women cell phone users caused more accidents than men, and I could certainly see why.  Of course, men do have an advantage.  Most of us learned to drive with one hand while we were still in high school.  But texting?  Give me a break!

          While we have driver’s licenses that authorize us to drive a car, it does not give us the right to drive 80 miles an hour through downtown Warrensburg.  Same with cell phones.  While we have the right of free speech, it doesn’t give us the right to use our cell phones while we are driving a car on city streets or highways.

          I propose that the same penalties for speeding, reckless driving, or at least illegal parking, be applied to all those idiots who have to stay in constant touch with both their friends while driving a motor vehicle of any kind.  And if a driver is using a cell phone and there is an accident, the cell phone user is automatically at fault.

          Incidentally, when I got to my morning coffee, there were four women at the table next to us who were texting each other!  While a bit odd, that would be legal since they weren’t driving.

                                                                            

                                                                             Carl B. Foster

A THANKSGIVING MIRACLE

     A funny thing happened to me on the way to the Jennies regional volleyball game.   I hit a hole in the road and thirty seconds later that awful thump, thump, thump sound came creeping through the floor of the car.  It was a flat tire.  Although my wife declared that I should not have hit that hole, she did help by directing me to the O’Reilly Auto Parts well-lit parking lot. 

     The game was at 7 p.m. and we were already running out of time. Besides, it was cold and very windy.  A younger man would simply get out of the car, remove the flat and put on the spare.   But, I am a senior citizen. I was pretty sure I had a spare (although I had never actually seen it since it was securely clamped in the trunk.)  I also did not have a clue on how to loosen those huge lug nuts nor did I know if I even had anything in the way of a jack.

     I was quickly approaching panic stage.  Who do you call for help, at night, when you know that most places are closed?  And even if I exercised my super duper AAA card, how long would we have to wait for help.  I began to kiss the volleyball match goodbye.

     Then, a Thanksgiving miracle happened.  A huge KCP&L truck roared into the parking lot, and a really big guy got out.  I asked him if he had any idea on who I might call to change my tire. 

     His response.  “I can handle that.”  Whereupon, he pulled out a huge hydraulic jack along with an air hose attached to a compressor.  He had the car jacked up, the lug nuts removed, the trunk open and my spare tire installed and properly inflated in about 10 minutes.

     He absolutely refused my attempt to reward him monetarily.  He told me that he worked the night shift repairing KCP&L vehicles and he just happened to be at O’Reilly’s to pick up some auto parts.  And, he was happy to be of service.

     We got to the game two minutes before the first serve, watched the Jennies win a tough match with Angelo State, and basked in the glory of having received a real Thanksgiving gift courtesy of a great KCP&L Samaritan.